October 2009

wash scraps

iron scraps

cut scraps

layout scraps

cat

layout scraps again

cat

layout scraps again

sew

sew sew

sew some more

finish blocks

organize blocks

cat

organize blocks again

sew rows

fast

no pinning

no seams line up

whatever

run out of blocks

still too small

border with fleece

yup fleece

it was there

piece back

make quilt sandwich

sew

December 2009

turn inside out

one quick turn around the border

done

ignore mangled seams

ignore with less success hole in the top

ignore with even less success the straight pin caught on the inside

throw on my dad

ignore for 8 months

suck it up, Green

you gotta quilt this sucker eventually

sigh

k, let's roll

flatten the sucker out

won't flatten

back too small for top

or

top too big for back

take your pick

eff, man

that's what you get for rushing

no option

take layers apart

seam ripper is my middle name

might as well axe the ugly fleece border

and fix holes in the top

hmm

too rectangular

not square enough

this haunts me too

and the cat

migrate two rows into one column

seam rip

sew

better

needs new border

a not fleece border

what was I thinking?

idiot

wash

press

cut

sew

cat

much better

now we've got a squarish one

one that is too long, too wide for its back

or the expensive batting between

sigh.

square back

not enough fabric left

slice some blue broadcloth from the recesses of the Rubbermaid

measure

measure

cut

measure twice, cut once

k.

sew sew

square

sew

good

top, back same dimensions

good dimensions

respectable quilt dimensions

batting?

wrecked

voyage to Fabricland

Fabricland paralysis

King size will do the trick

120x120

my psyche couldn't handle screwing up the dimensions again

lay back flat

lay batting flat

lay top flat

flat

flat

flat

move cat

pin

pin some more

pin quilt to carpet

glory, glory, hallelujah

tuck & roll, bunch together

gotta get this through my $80 Brother

quilt quilt

blech

wrong colour thread

screw it

keep going

pucker it twice

bad

seam rip

done one set of diagonals

start the other

cat

infiltrates process

mother effer

can't get the tension right

bunch

mangled

knotted thread

everywhere

bah

walk away, Green, walk away

deep breath

seam rip

seam rip

move cat's quilt

insult cat

try again

you can do it

you've come so far

quilt quilt

run out of dark green thread

shouldn't have been using dark green thread

screw it

black it is

no more $ will be spent on this

finish top

now for the bias

don't know how to use bias

how hard can it be?

Andrea showed me with a sheet of paper in a bar

ugh.

do I have to iron this stuff, too?

cat found new place to park butt

sew sew sew

I hate sewing

I can't look at this any more

cat reinstates herself

September 2010

In my fantasy life I have a black Lincoln Navigator and a ski rack.

In my real life I have an old cherry bike and used skies.

Downhill skies: $0, perfect fit, roadside find

Dreams: $0, they come real cheap

I'm debating whether or not to pretend I drew this myself.

Art: $0, roadside find

Contents of old bank: $2.83

Cost of new bank: $3.49 at Goodwill

Net: -$.66

At least I don't charge myself service fees.

I'm not going to lie. I may or may not have beat a hobo out of the way for this one.

Frame: $0, roadside find

Paper: $.79 at Michael's

Shame: none

If there is ever an emblematic image of my life, it is likely this - a heap of unused ideas, wasted creativity, thrashed ego tossed in a broken basket that the cat has appropriated for a butt-licking spot.

Recycle bin: $0, old gift basket

I'm a bit of an object of fascination in certain circles for my dislike of movies, music, and fiction. Okay, so Babe, Spice Girls, and Us Weekly might be good counter examples, but I still tend to be a bit of a strange animal that way.

My magical library discard heap did give me a movie I could get excited about: National Geographic "The Best of Cameramen Who Dared"

Basket: $2.99 at Goodwill

VHS: $.50, library discard

Most of the time, J-ness gives me shudder-ness, which I guess makes me a good non-J. I don't do details, routines, organization, planning, calendars, compartmentalizing, task-completion, perfectionism, decisions, goals. Blech. But some times I feel it . . . and it hurts. Lately, it hurts real bad.

Thankfully my abundant creativity and glue stick supply made this non-J moment quite bearable.

119 accidental reprints: $.19 each at Blacks
24 blank cards: $1 for 6 at Dollarama

My sister lives in Japan, so some pure Canadiana is a must for the snail-mails. Beyond soothing homesickness the over-priced roll of packing tape serves as a most excellent air conditioner instillation implement.

Tape: $3.29 at Canada Post

A/C Unit: $0, lifesaving destash from Andrea

Pine cones, sliced walnut seeds, apricot pits.

Great grandma Morrison's jewellery: $0, heirloom from a stylish lady

Three things count as a collection, eh? I'm seriously contemplating a bird salt shaker collection because these dudes are getting along famously with the flamingos.

Though I might want to up the ante and replace the stale, gallon-sized plastic vessels from Costco.

Turkey salt shakers: $1 at yardsale

So I bought this industrial strength Velcro about 9 months ago to seal off this precious duvet cover. For whatever reason, I put it in amongst the makeup Ann gave me five years ago, the extra shampoo, and heaps of linens that I insist on ramming and shoving, rather than folding and sorting.

For nine months I saw this Velcro every time I opened my linen closet.

For one minute I had the clever idea to put said Velcro where it really belonged.

For one Sunday I ripped apart my apartment looking for the Velcro that I had stared at daily for the better part of a year.

Japanese fabric: $42
Velcro: $4

Judging me for taking 9 months to sew three lines: $0, up to you

If I could take pictures of my camera with my camera, I could do this poor girl some justice. She's 4 years old, has been with me through 22 countries and has yielded 20 000 photos. The grey has worn off the buttons, there's three solid nicks around the lens, the motor grinds over the same piece of stray sand every time I turn it on. We're good pals.

She met her end a touch more than a month ago in the death ice soaking grip of a gritty Icelandic river. Better her than me, I suppose, but still gutting none the less.

Suggesting that I had nothing to lose, my dad thought it a good idea to stick her in the freezer for a few days. Let her warm up and one week later we had a resurrection!

Unbelievable, eh?

Good advice: $0

No repairs: As good as $500 in my pocket

Love letter to Canon: $.49 postage