Faced with a laziness induced 42 minute subway ride, I spent about that number of minutes at Shopper's waffling on what magazine to buy.

Transit: $6 round trip

Magazine: $6.99+ tx

Biking and subscription: $22

My math skills: $0, hurting

There are many mysteries in life. Stonehenge, the Pyramids, why Americans are in a perpetual state of election campaigning. But this - this - is the granddaddy of 'em all. How the hell does a squirrel scale 16 feet of brick carrying a hunk of bread twice its size?

Creepy rodents: $0, available everywhere

If you ever feel the need to have your soul sucked score a job in retail. There are a few ups, however. You learn to never break a twenty on a $1.23 coffee, that the customer is not always right, and that clothing stores receive an inordinate amount of samples from wholesalers.

Rockin' biking mittens: $0, courtesy of a three year tenure on Queen Street

The only time I remember that the light in the hall is burnt out is when I'm standing there in the dark trying five keys up and down trying to hack into my apartment.

Bulbs: $2.99 at Lowe's

Memory: $0, on loan from a goldfish

If there is ever a time for aspirational purchases it's when the scale flicks its mocking little needle at a weight that is 6lbs away from an all time high.

Just Do It: $149 worth of sneaker

To-do lists stress me out. They take time, I invariably forget stuff, then I feel crappy for not getting stuff done and they smack me in the face with a kind of guilt only the procrastinated-upon can inflict.

Return hiking stuff to Julia: $0, not on the list

*NB: Julia is already aware that I've added some 'character' to her $100 poles. Are you sure you don't want new ones?

Sometimes I sure as hell hope this isn't true. And sometimes I rest all hope on such mantras.

Button: 300 ¥, Don Don Down on Wednesday

My cat, bless her, is the dirtiest roommate. She scrunches litter up in her hairy little toes and makes a trail all through the apartment. When she jumps on the chair one can hear the gritty litter hit the floor. She takes a bit of kibble, steps away from the dish, and let's gravity take it's course. Sometimes it's a miss, sometimes it gets chewed. I sweep every day. Every day. Fur-tumbleweeds grow at a rate that makes me wonder how the cat is not bald.

Fortunately the dense-furred two-tier-coated long-haired mongrel likes a good therapeutic brushing. We have a 10pm standing date. The above is what happens if I miss a 24 hour cycle. No shit - this is a two day take.

Plastic brush: $1.00 at Dollarama

Wire brush: $0, gift from her new cat-sitter Walita

Men who love cats: $?, they exist, right? right?

It'll be a sad day when I don't have unbridled access to kitsch from Japan.

The joy of imported fabric tape: 100¥

hey! I finally updated my etsy! Just in time for Christmas 2011!

moneycantbuytaste.etsy.com

Sugar and Spice

Aztec

The Haute Couture

Sometimes I want to screw off and live out the fantasy of becoming a dirt-poor freelance photojournalist with more passport stamps than spots on a dalmatian. By sometimes I mean always.

To celebrate this I give you a grainy, out of focus, low-res, orangey photo of some hardbound inspiration.

Book: $.50, discard bin at school

Dreams: $0, they come real cheap

Quadruple sigh. I went without eyeglasses for 3 years. Blind and squinty. I was so excited when I could go get new ones. Then I rolled down a few hills in Iceland and gouged them (but not my eyes!). Then I tossed them on my desk the other day and one leg kept going. Man, it was a good six month ride.

Bad luck: $0