There are many mysteries in life. Stonehenge, the Pyramids, why Americans are in a perpetual state of election campaigning. But this - this - is the granddaddy of 'em all. How the hell does a squirrel scale 16 feet of brick carrying a hunk of bread twice its size?
If you ever feel the need to have your soul sucked score a job in retail. There are a few ups, however. You learn to never break a twenty on a $1.23 coffee, that the customer is not always right, and that clothing stores receive an inordinate amount of samples from wholesalers.
Rockin' biking mittens: $0, courtesy of a three year tenure on Queen Street
To-do lists stress me out. They take time, I invariably forget stuff, then I feel crappy for not getting stuff done and they smack me in the face with a kind of guilt only the procrastinated-upon can inflict.
Return hiking stuff to Julia: $0, not on the list
*NB: Julia is already aware that I've added some 'character' to her $100 poles. Are you sure you don't want new ones?
My cat, bless her, is the dirtiest roommate. She scrunches litter up in her hairy little toes and makes a trail all through the apartment. When she jumps on the chair one can hear the gritty litter hit the floor. She takes a bit of kibble, steps away from the dish, and let's gravity take it's course. Sometimes it's a miss, sometimes it gets chewed. I sweep every day. Every day. Fur-tumbleweeds grow at a rate that makes me wonder how the cat is not bald.
Fortunately the dense-furred two-tier-coated long-haired mongrel likes a good therapeutic brushing. We have a 10pm standing date. The above is what happens if I miss a 24 hour cycle. No shit - this is a two day take.
Plastic brush: $1.00 at Dollarama
Wire brush: $0, gift from her new cat-sitter Walita
Quadruple sigh. I went without eyeglasses for 3 years. Blind and squinty. I was so excited when I could go get new ones. Then I rolled down a few hills in Iceland and gouged them (but not my eyes!). Then I tossed them on my desk the other day and one leg kept going. Man, it was a good six month ride.